The Dreamer's Pen

For as long as I can remember, the idea of flaunting success has never resonated with me. Designer logos, luxury cars, extravagant homes – none of that has ever felt like success to me. While I can admire quality craftsmanship, I’ve never found fulfillment in accumulating things just to show the world I’ve “made it.” Success has always been something deeper, something more internal.

As an Enneagram 4, authenticity is essential to who I am. I’ve always valued being true to myself over meeting external expectations or following trends. I don’t need the approval of others to feel fulfilled. It’s never been about impressing anyone, it’s about living a life that aligns with my values and feels true to who I am.

But living in a world that often defines success by what you can show off, your possessions, your career title, your social media following, can make it difficult to remember that success isn’t a performance. Success is a feeling, a sense of peace that comes from knowing you’re doing what you were meant to do, not what others expect you to do.

We are constantly surrounded by messages telling us what success should look like. The cars, the clothes, the exotic vacations, these are the markers we’re taught to strive for. A prestigious job title isn’t enough unless it’s paired with the luxury to match. Financial security means little unless it’s being flaunted in some way. Happiness and fulfillment only seem real when they’re shared with the world.

But what if that’s not the true measure of success? What if it’s not about what others see, but about what’s happening on the inside? I’ve seen so many people put on a show, trying to keep up with the expectations of society, chasing after material things to feel worthy. But when success is based solely on what can be seen, it becomes a never-ending cycle. You get the new car, and then there’s a bigger, better one. You take that amazing vacation, but someone else has already gone somewhere even more exclusive. And all the while, you’re left feeling unfulfilled, because you’ve been chasing something that’s built on comparison and approval, not on authenticity.

Here’s what I’ve realized: External validation is fleeting. There’s always someone ahead of you, someone doing something “better” than you, someone with more. If I focused on seeking approval from others, I’d always be looking over my shoulder, constantly measuring my worth against others. But the truth is, I don’t need external validation to know my value. I don’t need to be the best, the most visible, or the most admired.

The more I’ve let go of the pressure to perform, the more at peace I’ve become with who I am. I don’t need anyone’s approval to feel like I’m on the right path. Success, for me, has always been about being true to myself, not about proving anything to anyone.

When you stop seeking validation from outside sources, you begin to find validation in yourself. You start measuring success by how aligned you feel with your purpose, how connected you are to your values, and how at peace you are with your choices. Success is about waking up every day knowing that you are living authentically, doing work that fulfills you, and nurturing relationships that nourish your soul.

For me, success isn’t about owning the most expensive things or winning awards to be admired. It’s about living with intention and purpose.
Success is meaning over materialism. I don’t want things just to show off. I want to create and contribute in ways that matter, regardless of who notices.

Success is inner peace over external approval. I don’t need to impress anyone or conform to society’s standards. I find fulfillment in staying true to myself.

Success is real connection over surface relationships – I value the deep, authentic relationships I’ve built over time. These connections, not likes or followers, are what sustain me.

Success is growth and self-discovery.  Becoming a better version of myself matters more than meeting others’ expectations.

At the end of the day, success isn’t about what other people think of you. It’s about what you think of yourself. And if you can find peace in who you are, and if your life feels rich with meaning and authenticity, then you’ve already achieved the greatest kind of success there is. And that kind of success? You don’t need to show off. You just need to live it.