The Dreamer's Pen

I have a thirst that runs deep within me. It’s not the thirst for anything material or shallow, but something more,something that feels as if it’s from another dimension. I long for a life that feels more true, more aligned with the core of who I am. The world around me tries to tell me what I should want, what success looks like, what happiness should feel like. But I know in my bones, that’s not it. I don’t care for the things that seem to fill other people’s lives—luxury cars, designer handbags, status, popularity. I don’t want to be recognized for something I’m not. I don’t want to live to impress, to fit into a mold that someone else created for me.

I don’t want the shallow connections that come with surface-level recognition. That’s not what I’m here for. I want more than that. I want to be free, free from the expectations of others, free from living up to a version of success that’s defined by things that ultimately don’t matter. I want to rise with the sun, sleep with the night, and find peace in the simplicity of life. I want to return to my roots, to what it means to truly live as a human. Not distracted by the noise of the world, but deeply connected to the earth, to the people around me, and to myself. I want to live in a way that honors that quiet, authentic rhythm that’s buried underneath all the chaos.

It’s not about the things. I don’t care about being popular, or proving my worth through accomplishments that don’t bring me joy. I want to live a life that matters. A life that’s about nourishing others, nourishing the souls that need it most, giving to those who truly need help, and being present in ways that are real. I want to teach, to learn, to grow, and to heal, not just for myself, but for those around me. I want to be a part of something that actually makes a difference. Not something superficial, not something fleeting, but something real.

Yet, even as I write this, I’m reminded of the deep thirst I feel within me. It’s like I’m constantly reaching for something, but I can’t quite grasp it. There’s a need for something greater, something beyond what I can touch in this world. It feels like I’m looking for a glass of water, but it’s always out of reach. Maybe it’s somewhere beyond this dimension, just beyond my grasp, hidden behind a veil that I can’t break through. Maybe that’s the thirst I feel, a hunger for something that calls to me in my quietest moments. And no matter how much I search, I can never seem to find it.

I’ve always had these dreams that feel like a hint of what I’m seeking. I dream of walking up an old spiral staircase at night. It’s always the same. I keep climbing, reaching higher and higher, the moon is my guide, but no matter how much I ascend, I never reach the top. The staircase is endless, and I wake before I can see where it leads. I’m always reaching, always climbing, but never arriving. The journey feels familiar, but the destination is always just out of sight. Maybe that’s what it’s about: the climb, the act of searching, of yearning for something more, even if I never get there.

And then there’s another dream: I am an owl, flying through a thick forest, soaring toward the moon. The trees are dark, heavy with shadows, but I fly with ease, drawn toward the light. The moon, always the moon, is my guide. But as I get closer, I wake. The moon is always just out of reach, a beacon that calls me onward, but never fully answers the thirst I feel inside. I’ve had these dreams since I was a child, and they’ve always felt like a part of me, like they hold some deeper meaning, a connection to something beyond this world.

The moon is my beacon. It has always been the light in the darkness, guiding me even when I don’t fully understand where I’m going. I don’t know why I can never reach it, or why I feel this constant pull toward something that’s just beyond my grasp. But I know this: I can’t ignore it. I can’t ignore this thirst, this longing, this feeling that I am meant for something deeper. Something real.

But that’s what it is, isn’t it? This thirst, this ache, this longing, it’s not something that can be fully satisfied by anything in this world. It’s something I’ll keep seeking, keep reaching for. And maybe, just maybe, that’s the point. To keep searching. To keep longing. To keep striving for something that is always just out of reach. Because the search itself is what brings meaning. The search is what makes this life worth living.

I’m not here for the hollow things. I’m not here to chase after empty achievements or live in a way that doesn’t reflect my soul. I’m here to make a difference, to help the sick, to love those who need love, to teach, to heal, to create. I’m here to grow, to evolve, to become the person I’m meant to be, even if I don’t have all the answers. I’m here to nourish the souls that need it and to live a life that is deep, real, and meaningful.

This thirst that I feel. It’s not something I can ignore. It’s part of who I am, part of the journey. And though I may never find that glass of water I seek, I know that the search, the longing, is what will lead me to something greater. Something real.