The Dreamer's Pen

Last weekend, I made Nigerian Tomato Stew with beef for the first time, and it was an experience that transcended the simple act of cooking, it felt like I was awakening a new side of myself. Over the past year, I’ve started exploring cuisines that were once unfamiliar to me, and each dish has been an exploration of identity, culture, and emotion. Every flavor is a story, and the more I taste, the more I connect with something deeper within me. Food, for me, has become more than just nourishment, it’s a form of discovery.

For this stew, I pushed myself to go beyond my comfort zone with spice. I added three habanero peppers and two jalapenos, and the result was nothing short of transformative. The heat wasn’t just heat, it was a feeling. It opened up my senses in a way that felt liberating, like I was tasting life with all its intensity. The balance of the fiery peppers with the savory beef and sweet bell peppers created an explosion of flavor that made me realize how much I’ve been holding back from experiencing. There’s something deeply satisfying about embracing the unexpected, and this stew was a reminder of that.

Growing up as the daughter of a German immigrant, I was accustomed to flavors that were restrained, subtle, and grounded. German cuisine often focuses on warming spices like cloves, caraway, and mustard seeds and uses vinegar in ways that add a tangy balance to meats, sausages, and rich dishes. The flavors I knew weren’t so much about heat—they were about depth and a quiet, introspective complexity. The food reflected the kind of emotional depth I was raised with, one that doesn’t necessarily demand loud expression but is always rich with meaning.

So, stepping into the world of Nigerian cuisine with its bold, fiery spices was a profound shift for me. The intense heat from the habaneros and jalapenos jolted me awake, forcing me to embrace something new and unexpected. And I loved it. It was as if I was shedding a layer of comfort, leaning into vulnerability, and embracing the chaos of flavor with open arms. There’s a beauty in allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by intensity, it’s a reminder that sometimes, the most rewarding experiences lie in pushing past the limits of what you think you know.

Alongside this, I’ve also come to appreciate sushi, Indian food, and Korean dishes. It’s a kind of quiet rebellion for me, breaking free from the familiar and discovering new worlds within each meal. There’s something about the delicate balance of sushi, the richness of Indian spices, and the harmony of Korean flavors that speaks to me in ways that words often can’t. These flavors, these dishes, they feel like a reflection of my own inner journey, an exploration of complexity, of beauty, of contradictions.

Food has become a way for me to explore not just the world around me, but the world within me. And I’m only just beginning.