The Dreamer's Pen

I had surgery today, and honestly, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I was wheeled into the OR, scared out of my mind, not really knowing what to expect, but I had an amazing medical team that made all the difference. My gynecological oncologist is the top in the area, and the anesthesiologist was so kind, ensuring I was comfortable and cared for in every way possible. Their kindness was a huge relief as I faced the unknown.

The surgery went well, thank God. They removed a massive mature ovarian dermoid cyst, which was filled with fat, tons of hair, and even a tooth, yes, a tooth. It’s crazy to think about. Along with the cyst, they took out my left ovary and fallopian tube. What I didn’t know before going into surgery was how much damage that cyst was causing. It had been crushing my colon and pressing on my ureters, which led to constant UTIs, swollen kidneys, and some intense abdominal pain. The growth in my abdomen was significant. My abdomen kept growing and growing as the pressure from the mass built up. I had no idea what was going on inside me for all this time. They’re going to test the mass for cancer, so now I’m just waiting for those results. It’s a nerve-wracking time, but I’m doing my best to stay calm and positive.

Waking up from anesthesia was actually a bit of a highlight! I was groggy but so relieved to be awake, and to my surprise, they let me have a little coffee. It might sound silly, but after all the anxiety, it was a small but much-needed comfort to enjoy a cup of coffee again. It felt like a tiny victory in a big moment.

Now that I’m back home, the pain is pretty intense. It’s difficult to move, and I honestly feel like I can’t do much of anything right now. But I know this is part of the healing process, and I’m just taking it one step at a time. Each day will get better, and I’m trusting my body to do its work.
Even though I’m still recovering, one thing that’s stood out is how much flatter my stomach is now. It’s surprisingly noticeable, especially considering the air they had to pump into me during surgery. The difference is wild, and it’s hard to believe how much space that mass was taking up. I feel a sense of relief, though I know it’ll take some time to fully process everything.

There’s also been a shift in my hormones now that I’ve lost my ovary. Crazy how fast that happened! My menstrual cycle is a little out of whack, which is to be expected, but I’m confident my body will adjust over time. I’m doing my best to listen to my body and be patient with the changes that come.

I’ve received so many kind messages and check-ins from friends, family, and colleagues, and I can’t express enough how much it means to me. I’m just focusing on resting, healing, and taking care of myself. I know I still have a long road ahead, but I’m taking it one step at a time, and I truly appreciate all of the support along the way.