The Dreamer's Pen

Dear INFJ,

I want to begin this letter by reminding you of something crucial:

Your experiences are valid. Your emotions are valid. And no one has the right to tell you otherwise.

The truth is, you’re often in touch with a depth of feeling and insight that many others can’t even begin to understand. But that doesn’t mean your emotions or experiences should ever be diminished or dismissed.

As INFJs, we often face moments where our intense inner world is met with skepticism or even outright dismissal. People might try to downplay our feelings, telling us that we’re overreacting, being too sensitive, or making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe they’ve said things like, “It’s not that bad,” or “You’re just too emotional.” But here’s the thing:

Do not let anyone tell you that your experiences don’t matter. Don’t let anyone minimize the way you feel or invalidate your reality.

Your emotions, no matter how complex or overwhelming they seem, are yours—and they are meaningful.

Your experiences are valid.

We’ve all had those moments where someone tells us to “just get over it” or “it’s not that big of a deal,” as if our feelings can simply be tossed aside because they don’t fit into someone else’s understanding. But let’s be clear: Your experiences are yours to navigate. They’re not for anyone else to judge, shrink, or diminish. As Dr. Elaine Aron, who coined the term “Highly Sensitive Person,” reminds us, sensitivity is not a flaw—it’s part of who we are. It’s a profound, integral aspect of the human experience, and it deserves to be respected.

We, as INFJs, feel things deeply. We have an uncanny ability to pick up on subtle cues, to connect with others on a level that many can’t. And in doing so, we often open ourselves to emotional complexity. But just because others may not see the world in the same way, or may not feel things as intensely, doesn’t mean that your emotions are any less real. Your feelings, your experiences—they matter.

Don’t let anyone diminish your emotions.

It’s tempting, I know, to shrink yourself when others dismiss your emotions. It’s easy to internalize their words and start doubting whether your feelings are justified. But I’m here to tell you: Your emotions are never too much. There’s no such thing as being “too sensitive” or “too emotional.” Your ability to connect, to empathize, to reflect—these are not weaknesses. They are gifts. And no one has the right to tell you that they’re not. Dr. Carl Jung, the father of the psychological concepts behind the INFJ personality, once said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” And to become who you truly are, you need to embrace your inner world with all its rawness, complexity, and intensity.

You are allowed to feel deeply.

If anyone tries to tell you that your experiences aren’t significant, or that your feelings are an overreaction, let it go. You don’t have to justify your emotions to anyone. Your emotional landscape is yours alone to navigate. You have the right to experience the full spectrum of what it means to be human, and to feel with depth and authenticity.

Dr. Brene Brown, a researcher on vulnerability, says that “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.” As an INFJ, you show up for yourself every day. You allow yourself to feel, to process, and to engage with the world with open eyes and a tender heart. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.

You are not broken. You are not “too much.” You are not too sensitive. Your emotions are a beautiful part of who you are, and you have every right to honor them. So, next time someone tells you that your feelings don’t matter or that you’re overreacting, remember this:

You are allowed to feel. You are allowed to be deeply human.

With love,
Stefanie