The Dreamer's Pen

As an INFJ, I’ve spent most of my life living in my head observing, analyzing, imagining, and predicting. My dominant function, introverted intuition (Ni), allows me to see patterns, sense meaning, and anticipate possibilities.

But it can also keep us tucked away from the vividness of the present. That’s where extroverted sensing (Se) comes in.

Extroverted sensing (Se) is life itself. It is taste, texture, sound, sight, movement, and touch. It’s noticing what’s right in front of you and diving into it fully. Se people notice details effortlessly, act quickly, and thrive on spontaneity. They are attuned to the world in ways INFJs often aren’t.

INFJs living largely in Ni, sometimes struggle to connect with the moment. Se pulls us out of our heads and into now. It’s the antidote to overthinking and the counterbalance to constant planning. It’s not reckless or shallow,it’s fully alive.

Growing Into Extroverted Sensing

As a younger INFJ, Se felt chaotic and scary. New foods, concerts, spontaneous adventures – all of it felt unpredictable and overwhelming. I loved the safety of planning, predictability, and reflection. I thought that my inner world was enough. As I’ve grown older, I’ve started to dabble in Se, cautiously at first, then with delight.

The sunlight on my skin, the smell of fresh coffee, the taste of a perfectly cooked meal and the rush of movement or sound – these sensations anchor me to life itself. Se teaches freedom to step into the moment without overthinking, to experience life fully, and to trust ourselves. It’s not just a function; it’s a doorway to living vividly.

My Dad, the ESTP

A big part of this growth comes from my dad, a classic ESTP. He’s bold, kinetic, powerful, and unapologetically alive. He notices details effortlessly and responds instantly. Where I hesitated, he leapt. Where I worried, he thrived. Watching him, I learned that Se isn’t scary, it’s vitality. Courage, presence, humor, and joy. It’s the body, senses, and environment as much as insight. ESTPs teach INFJs that living in the moment isn’t recklessness; it’s essential life energy.

Growing up, his energy was a lot. But now, I see that he was teaching me how to feel fully, act decisively, and trust life itself. That early exposure planted the seeds for my later growth, helping me dip my toes into Se and gradually embrace it as an older INFJ.

Why ENTP + INFJ Is Pure Magic

ENTPs blend Se with Ne. It’s spontaneity, curiosity, and endless possibilities. INFJ + ENTP is arguably the most magical MBTI pairing.

INFJs bring depth, focus, and insight. ENTPs bring wit, playfulness, and daring. They coax out our dormant Se, while we offer grounding and perspective. Conversations flow endlessly between humor, philosophy, insight, and teasing challenge. The connection feels electric, transformative and like soul mates.

ENTPs push us to explore without fear. INFJs pull them inward, offering depth, meaning, and emotional resonance. It’s a partnership that teaches, stretches, and delights. Life with an ENTP is playful yet profound, spontaneous yet reflective, thrilling yet comforting.

Other Extroverted Types

Different extroverted types awaken Se in unique ways:

ESFPs: Playful, warm, joyful. They remind INFJs to savor life’s beauty, loosen perfectionism, and embrace the present.

ENFPs: Curious, enthusiastic, emotionally expansive. They open INFJs to new experiences and emotional landscapes.

ESTJs: Strategic, structured, decisive. They encourage action and tangible results, though often less playful or exploratory.

Each type provides a different flavor of Se. Some awaken adventurous, spontaneous energy; others awaken curiosity, joy, or disciplined action. INFJs thrive when we learn from these energies, stepping fully into the present while still honoring our depth.

Why Not ESFJs and ENTJs

Not all extroverted types complement INFJs in ways that truly awaken us.

ESFJs, while warm and socially skilled, often focus on fitting in, being liked, control, and maintaining harmony. They excel socially but prioritize validation, appearances, gossip,and external approval.

Their attention is often on what looks right, feels acceptable, or maintains order.To an INFJ seeking authenticity and soul-deep resonance, this can feel surface level or performative. They are pleasant and socially adept, but rarely coax us into full bodied, spontaneous engagement with life.

ENTJs, while ambitious and decisive, often focus on achievement and structure rather than emotional depth or immersive Se experiences.

Both ESFJs and ENTJs can stimulate in certain ways, but they rarely provide the transformative spark that Se-rich types like ENTPs, ESTPs, or ESFPs offer.

The Emotional and Physical Experience of Se

Se awakens the body and senses. Life feels sharper, richer, more vivid. It’s a current flowing through us, thrilling and liberating. With the right person — someone bold, playful, endlessly awake — that spark becomes a shared fire. It teaches courage, spontaneity, joy, and presence.

Reflection

To be an INFJ is to live between worlds the one your mind sees and the one your senses feel. There is a quiet tension, a pull between reflection and presence, between thought and experience.

Se is the bridge. It pulls us into life, awakens our heartbeat, our breath and our body. With Se, sunlight glows differently, food tastes sharper, music resonates deeper, movement hums in the bones.

With the right extroverted soul, bold, curious, and endlessly awake, that spark becomes a shared fire. It dances, it challenges, it awakens, it transforms. It mirrors us, amplifies us, and opens doors to experiences we could never reach alone.

To be an INFJ is to honor depth, reflection, and meaning, but also to step boldly into the now. Life becomes luminous, electric, endlessly unfolding. It becomes magic.