The Dreamer's Pen

(Disclaimer: I meant to post this yesterday but I crashed and slept for 15 hours. So here I am, posting the following day instead. I feel so much better after the long sleep.)

I left work early because I just couldn’t push through anymore. I haven’t slept well in two days and my body finally gave out. Most of my coworkers are out sick too, so maybe it’s just making the rounds.

It was the first day of fall but honestly, I barely noticed. Outside looked nice. The leaves started to turn and the air felt crisp, but I felt too drained to care. Everything feels heavy right now. The news, and the way history keeps circling back on itself, the whispers of fascism creeping in again. History rhymes, and it’s unsettling.

I grabbed pho for lunch before heading home. Just a simple bowl, but it helped. A small comfort. Something warm to hold onto. Then I slept. Hard. What was supposed to be a nap turned into 15 hours. My body shut down in a way I couldn’t fight. It was the kind of sleep that feels less like rest and more like surrender.

Four years ago this week, I watched my mom die. That memory still lives right under my skin. Sometimes I think I’m just too sensitive for all of this, you know? The grief, the chaos, and the endless cycle of bad news. But maybe that’s just the reality of being human.

I’m trying to hold onto hope,l. I look for small things like good food, quiet, blankets, sleep that actually sticks. Little reminders that life isn’t only the hard parts.

So, happy fall, even if I’m a day late in saying it!