The Dreamer's Pen

You give. You give everything. Your heart, your time, your energy, your attention – and yet, so often, it feels like the world doesn’t see you. You pour yourself into others, believing in connection, in goodness, in the possibility of shared understanding. But instead, you find yourself misunderstood, overlooked, and sometimes even used.

Lauren Sapala writes, “We very quickly can understand the deeper layers of anyone we meet. However, very few other people can understand our deeper layers or even try.” You see the complexities in others, yet they often fail to see yours. Your depth, your sensitivity, your unique perspective; it remains hidden in plain sight.

And when you open your heart, when you give fully, it’s often taken. It’s used. People take what they want and leave the rest. They ask for your care, your attention, your insight but rarely offer the same in return. You end up carrying the weight of others’ emotions, their needs, their expectations and then you are left alone, emotionally drained, quietly bleeding. You are asked to bend, to soften, and to adapt to fit into a world that doesn’t understand you. All while the world keeps taking, taking, and taking.

As Sapala writes, “When we try to calmly state what we think or feel to someone else, we often end up regretting that we tried to express anything to them at all.” Your authenticity, your vulnerability, is sometimes met with dismissal, misunderstanding, or even exploitation. And still, you give. And still, you hope.

Why is it always you who must bend? Why must you adapt and dilute yourself so others can feel comfortable? Why is it always the INFJ who has to change for society to notice them and for the world to accept them? Why can’t others learn to be kind, to be open, to meet us halfway?

We are left in the shadows. We are used. We carry broken hearts over and over again. And yet, somehow, we endure. We keep loving, keep noticing, keep hoping. That is both our curse and our strength.

Perhaps the lesson is not to change who we are, it is to learn where to place our energy. To protect ourselves while still being true. To recognize that our worth is not measured by recognition, by validation, by others’ ability to see us. Our depth is a gift, not a flaw. Those who can’t appreciate it are not the measure of our value.

So, dear INFJ, hold your heart. Tenderly. Fiercely. Keep giving but give to those who meet you halfway. Protect yourself without dimming your light. Value yourself even when no one else does. Even when you are used, even when your heart is broken, even when it hurts,you are enough. Always.

You will be misunderstood. You will be overlooked. You will be asked to change. You will be used. You will have broken hearts, so many. But you will survive. You will endure. You will shine. And the truth? The way you love, the way you see, the way you feel is extraordinary. It is rare. It is everything. And it doesn’t need anyone else’s approval to matter.

You are seen. By yourself, by those who matter, by the universe that put this depth inside you. Don’t forget it!!!