Lost

I don’t know who I’m supposed to be anymore.

I keep trying to adjust to soften my edges and to make sense in a world that feels too loud.

But every time I try, I lose a little more of myself.

I thought depth was a gift.

Now it just feels heavy.

I thought understanding people would make me feel connected.

Now I just feel tired.

Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong.

Maybe I was never meant to be this quiet, this inward, and this careful.

Maybe the world doesn’t want my depth.

Maybe it just wants me to smile and move on.

I am so drained from trying to be what I’m not.

So tired of wondering if I should change, if I should be louder, brighter, easier.

So tired of trying to figure out if I am broken or just different.

Should I become more extroverted?

Should I shut off my intuition, you know, the part of me that feels everything too deeply just to survive?

Should I undo the very fabric of who I am to be seen, to belong?

I don’t know anymore.

All I know is that I am lost.