The Dreamer's Pen

Happy New Year, everyone.

I wish I was coming into this year feeling refreshed and energized, but if I’m being completely honest, I am soooo exhausted. Like deeply, fully drained.

Tomorrow is Friday and I still have three more days before I go back to work and officially start my new job as an adjunct professor. And somehow I already feel worn out, even though I haven’t even started yet. I think that says a lot about how much I’ve been running on empty.

So tomorrow, my only real plan is to rest. Actually rest. I need to get myself into the habit of going to bed at a decent time and letting my body shut down properly instead of staying up and pushing through. The housework can wait. Meal prep can wait until the weekend. Right now, what I need is real rest. Like the kind that actually restores you.

Tonight I changed the sheets and the bedding, sprayed a soft lavender scent all over the bed, and I’m going to take a long, relaxing bath. After that, I’m going to try to get into bed early and just… sleep. No guilt. No scrolling. Just rest.

My skin has also been incredibly dry lately, which honestly feels like a physical sign of how depleted I am. So I’m doing all the things: lots of moisturizer, some slugging, and hoping I wake up feeling at least a little more human.

I’m also really determined to stop using Facebook and Instagram. They just don’t feel healthy for me and I don’t think they’re healthy for a lot of people either. But wow, it’s harder than I thought. Facebook, especially, seems weirdly resistant to letting me deactivate my account, which feels ironic. Maybe I’ll just stop using it altogether and be done with it.

This new year isn’t starting with big goals or flashy energy. It’s starting with honesty, exhaustion, and the decision to take better care of myself. If my first real intention of the year is rest, I’m okay with that.