The Dreamer's Pen

The dizziness and chest pain came back today. I actually fell asleep at my desk like my body just decided it was done for the day. I managed to drive myself home and basically crashed the second I walked through the door. When I woke up, this phrase was sitting in my head like it had been waiting for me.

Break that façade.

It’s funny how the mind works when the body forces you to stop. When you’re that tired, you don’t have the energy to keep up appearances anymore. The masks slip because holding them up takes work. So much of life feels like a façade.

We present these polished versions of ourselves at work, online, and sometimes even with people we know well. Like everything is together. Like we’re thriving. Like we’re fine. But bodies don’t really care about façades. A body will interrupt your day and say: yeah, we’re not doing this right now. And today mine definitely did that. Maybe that phrase wasn’t random. Maybe it was more like a reminder.

Break the façade.

Stop acting like everything is fine when you’re exhausted. Stop pretending you’re holding it all together when you’re not. Maybe healing actually starts when the façade cracks a little.

****

Saturday I have an appointment at the spa. A massage and then a facial.

Honestly I just want to reconnect with my body a little. Slow down. Relax. Let someone work the stress out of my body and nervous system.

No performance. No façade.

Just rest.

Back to bed. Goodnight.