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Pathology Update
I had surgery a few days ago, and I’m so relieved to share that everything came back benign – absolutely no cancer! The mass that was removed was a very large mature cystic teratoma. One unexpected finding was that my left fallopian tube was fused shut, meaning it wasn’t open the way it should be. Continue reading
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Losing My Left Ovary: Healing, Grieving, and Learning to Live in My Body Again
It still hasn’t fully hit me. Three days ago, I lost my left ovary and fallopian tube. The words feel surreal, like they belong to someone else. My mind knows it happened, but my heart hasn’t caught up yet. Maybe because the pain is louder than my thoughts, or maybe because I’m not ready to Continue reading
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The Weight of Healing: Reflections on Surgery and Pain
Day two, and the pain is relentless. It moves through me in waves: sharp, deep, and unforgiving. I’ve always been a side sleeper, but now my body resists every position, every shift, every attempt at comfort. My bed, once a place of rest, now feels foreign, incapable of holding me through this. So, I’ve surrendered Continue reading
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Surgery, Cysts, and Coffee
I had surgery today, and honestly, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I was wheeled into the OR, scared out of my mind, not really knowing what to expect, but I had an amazing medical team that made all the difference. My gynecological oncologist is the top in the area, Continue reading
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Surgery Day: Sitting with the Anxiety
Today is surgery day. I knew it was coming, but no amount of mental preparation can fully quiet the anxiety humming beneath my skin. It’s not just the procedure itself, it’s the vulnerability, the unknowns, the loss of control. The waiting. I’ve always been someone who likes to understand, to plan, to have my feet Continue reading
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Between the Knife and the Unknown
I lie beneath the weight of waiting,the hush before the plunge,where time bends,where breath is borrowed,where the body is a question with no answer. The scalpel sings in silent promise,a whispered hymn of hope and risk.Will I wake to the sun’s golden mercy,or slip into the quiet where names are forgotten? I have traced the Continue reading
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Dear Me:
Dear Me, I owe you the deepest, most heartfelt apology, one long overdue. I have spent years speaking to you in ways I would never speak to someone I love. I have stood before the mirror, dissecting you, tearing you down, accusing you of failure simply because you changed. I have waged war against you, Continue reading
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When Pain Becomes Normal
I keep thinking about how long this has been growing inside me. How many times I brushed off the pain, the bloating, the pressure, because I thought it was just part of being a woman. The horrible period cramps that felt like a hot brick pressing down on my uterus. The hip pain that radiated Continue reading
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The Body Remembers
My body is not betraying me.It is speaking.Soft, persistent, unyielding in its truth. I have lost, yet I have gained, not in numbers, but in weight that is unseen, in the burden of something growing, pressing against the fabric of who I was. A mass settles beneath my ribs,rooted like a secret,stretching the limits of Continue reading
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Silent Wars
Why must I fight these battles alone, carrying shadows no one has known?A whispering ache, a hollowed plea, drowned in silence, swallowed by me. The moonlight flickers on my skin,Tracing the wars that rage within.Armor cracked, yet none can see, the weight, the fear consuming me. Echoes dance in empty halls,Mocking ghosts that hear my Continue reading
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The Cyst, the Dream, and the Whisper of Angels
I have always believed in signs. Some people dismiss them as coincidences, but I know better. I’ve felt them too many times, in too many ways, to ignore them. Angels don’t always speak in words. Sometimes, they speak in symbols, in nudges, in quiet whispers only the soul can hear. And for the past two Continue reading
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The Lost German Girl: A Haunting Reminder of History
There’s an old film clip from the end of World War II that I can’t stop thinking about. It’s known as The Lost German Girl, and it shows a young woman walking alone down a war-torn road, surrounded by soldiers. Her face is bruised, her hair is messy, and she looks exhausted, completely worn down Continue reading
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March Whispers
March wind hums a tune,whispering of loss and bloom,halfway to the sun. Continue reading
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A Night of Recognition: Celebrating Dale Johnson and Female Composers
Last night’s Tacoma Youth Symphony concert was a moment of reflection, celebration, and recognition. It was a reminder of the untold stories of women in classical music and a tribute to the impact of Dale Johnson, a figure whose influence has shaped countless musicians over the years. It was a night that made me reflect Continue reading
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The Unveiling: A Love Letter to My True Self
It hit me today. A voice in my head asked, “Why are you holding back? Why are you hiding?” Wow. I have spent a lifetime hiding—hiding from the world, from others, from myself. I have played the roles expected of me, worn the masks that kept me safe, dimmed my light so I would not Continue reading
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A Glimpse of Spring and a Bowl of Pho
Today felt like an unexpected shift. A quiet moment of calm as if spring had arrived ahead of schedule. The sun was soft, the air was warm, and there was a stillness in the world that made everything feel more grounded. It wasn’t the dramatic change of season but more of a subtle reminder that Continue reading
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The Danger of the INFJ
As an INFJ, I found this video titled “Why a True INFJ is So Dangerous” to be an interesting exploration of the complexities that come with being this rare personality type. INFJs are often seen as deeply empathetic and idealistic, with an unwavering commitment to their values. However, this very depth of feeling and vision Continue reading
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My Most Ambitious DIY Project
Describe the most ambitious DIY project you’ve ever taken on. When most people think of DIY projects, they imagine home renovations, crafting, or some kind of hands-on creation. But for me, the most ambitious DIY project I’ve ever taken on wasn’t something I could hold in my hands, it was earning my MBA in just Continue reading
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Song of the Varied Thrush
In the mist of morning’s light,Where cedar trees meet ocean’s might,A song drifts softly through the pines,From the varied thrush, where silence twines. It calls across the dampened moss,Through tangled woods and mountain’s gloss,A melody so clear, so deep,A secret that the shadows keep. Beneath the sky, a gray-blue hue,Where coastal winds and rain are Continue reading
The Dreamer's Pen 