anxiety
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The Life That Fits Me
I am so tired. Even after sleeping well, even after a quiet morning, my body insisted I lie down, and I ended up napping for four hours. Four hours. I’ve never been a napper. I’ve never needed it. And yet here I am giving in because my body won’t let me ignore the weight pressing Continue reading
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Power Out
My body has been hurting so bad. My back and neck are completely locked up and the pain has been nonstop for days. And I’ve had a horrible migraine since the end of last week. Sitting, standing, lying down – nothing feels right. I try to ignore it, I try to push through, but it’s Continue reading
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Hibernate
alone, anxiety, Authenticity, autumn, body, cozy, dark, death, deep-thoughts, emotions, exhausted, existentialism, fear, feeler, feelings, FemininePower, funeral, grief, guilt, healing, health, hibernation, hurt, hurting, inner-work, lazy, life, lonely, loss, mental health, my life, night, pain, rain, recovery, relationships, relaxation, rest, self care, Self portrait, Self Reflection, sleep, Slow Down, still life, suffering, tension, tired, tiresome, wellness, worn, worried, Zen -
Carrying Ghosts
I don’t really understand what’s happening, but it feels like my symptoms are coming back. My neck and shoulders are so tense it feels like I’m carrying the weight of everything I’ve ever survived. It’s the same tension I had before I was medicated, the kind that never really leaves. I am also so incredibly Continue reading
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Letting Go: The Hardest Donation I’ve Ever Made
Today I took an enormous carload (literally packed from floor to ceiling ) of clothes to charity. I know it probably sounds simple, but it was honestly one of the hardest things I’ve done in a really long time. Handing over those bags felt like letting go of pieces of myself. And now, I’ll be Continue reading
anxiety, Authenticity, autumn, blog, body image, charity, clothes, consciousness, creative-writing, deep-thoughts, donation, emotions, empty, enneagram4w5, experiences, fall, FemininePower, grief, healing, heartache, infj, inner-work, Intuition, life, lonely, longing, loss, moments, mother, pain, Self Reflection, self-discovery, spiritual, suffering, wardrobe, women’s health -
Words, Connection, and My Mom’s Legacy
I made my first vlog — something completely new for me. I actually love speaking in public, so that’s not an issue at all. It’s just that, like many INFJs, I often feel that my words come across more clearly and beautifully on paper than they do out loud. Still, I wanted to challenge myself to Continue reading
alone, anxiety, autumn, bombing, community, connection, death, deep-thoughts, experiences, FemininePower, funeral, Germans, germany, grief, Growth, healing, heartache, infj, inner-work, life, lonely, longing, love, medicine, mental health, moments, mother, my life, narcissists, pain, poverty, psychology, reflection, relationships, self care, Self Reflection, September, soulful, spiritual, strength, Vlogs, women’s health, world War ii, worried -
🌿 I Made a Video About Letting Go
I recently filmed a video about something that’s been unfolding quietly in my life: The slow, personal process of letting go. Letting go of isolation. Letting go of second guessing myself. Letting go of the things I carried for so long, I forgot I could set them down. This isn’t a “how to.” It’s a Continue reading
anxiety, Authenticity, calm, community, connection, consciousness, deep-thoughts, experiences, feeler, feelings, femininity, grief, Growth, health, heartache, infj, Intuition, Learning, lonely, love, mental health, Mindfulness, moments, pain, positive thoughts, ptsd, purpose, reflection, relationships, self care, Self Reflection, self-discovery, suffering, tired, Zen -
No Vacations, No Retirement —Just Grit and Grace
I grew up in what my mother called “working poor.” It wasn’t a label we wore publicly. It was just… life. At first, I thought we were like everyone else. I thought soup kitchens were just another kind of restaurant. I thought thrift stores were where everyone got their clothes. I thought rich meant your Continue reading
anxiety, Authenticity, blue collar, class, creative-writing, death, deep-thoughts, enneagram4w5, funeral, grief, Growth, health, heartache, inner-work, Inspiration, life, lonely, loss, love, mental health, mother, politics, relationships, Self portrait, Self Reflection, socioeconomics, suffering, tired, working class, writing -
Losing My Left Ovary: Healing, Grieving, and Learning to Live in My Body Again
It still hasn’t fully hit me. Three days ago, I lost my left ovary and fallopian tube. The words feel surreal, like they belong to someone else. My mind knows it happened, but my heart hasn’t caught up yet. Maybe because the pain is louder than my thoughts, or maybe because I’m not ready to Continue reading
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Surgery Day: Sitting with the Anxiety
Today is surgery day. I knew it was coming, but no amount of mental preparation can fully quiet the anxiety humming beneath my skin. It’s not just the procedure itself, it’s the vulnerability, the unknowns, the loss of control. The waiting. I’ve always been someone who likes to understand, to plan, to have my feet Continue reading
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Between the Knife and the Unknown
I lie beneath the weight of waiting,the hush before the plunge,where time bends,where breath is borrowed,where the body is a question with no answer. The scalpel sings in silent promise,a whispered hymn of hope and risk.Will I wake to the sun’s golden mercy,or slip into the quiet where names are forgotten? I have traced the Continue reading
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When Pain Becomes Normal
I keep thinking about how long this has been growing inside me. How many times I brushed off the pain, the bloating, the pressure, because I thought it was just part of being a woman. The horrible period cramps that felt like a hot brick pressing down on my uterus. The hip pain that radiated Continue reading
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Facing the Unknown: Navigating Health Concerns and the Anxiety of an Upcoming Procedure
I’ve always been fortunate to enjoy good health, never really having to worry much about my body or dealing with medical issues. But recently, some health concerns have popped up, and now, I find myself facing the need for tests and procedures to get some answers. I can’t lie, this is all pretty nerve-wracking. I’m Continue reading
The Dreamer's Pen 