Authenticity
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When Your Body Says “Enough”
I’ve always been the one preaching self-care. Drink water. Get sleep. Set boundaries. Put the phone down. Don’t let stress run your life. I say these things easily. Confidently. Convincingly. But lately? I haven’t been living them. A few days ago, I fainted in the shower and ended up in the emergency room. Three days… Continue reading
anxiety, Authenticity, deep-thoughts, emotions, experiences, fall, feelings, Growth, health, hospital, infj, internal world, Intuition, medicine, mental health, mother, pain, philosophy, positive thoughts, purpose, reflection, relationships, self care, Self Reflection, self-discovery, suffering, Women, women’s health, Zen -
I Asked AI to Analyze My “Type” and It Low Key Read Me Perfectly
So this started as a curiosity experiment and turned into a full on mirror. I uploaded a bunch of photos of male celebrities I find attractive. Actors, comedians, writers, and musicians. You know, the usual suspects. I asked AI a simple question: Do I have a type? I expected something vague like “you like smart… Continue reading
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Why Color Speaks to Me
I don’t know why color and sunlight speak to me the way they do. I’ve tried to put it into words a million times, and I never get it right, because it’s not really something you can explain. It’s something you feel. It’s in your chest, your spine, and the way your skin tingles when… Continue reading
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This Is What I Want
This is all I want. It is the one thing I’m truly striving for. Not success in the way it’s usually measured. Not productivity for the sake of proving something. Not more noise, more pressure, or more performance. What I want goes deeper than meditation, deeper than “self-care,” deeper than a few calm moments carved… Continue reading
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The Life That Fits Me
I am so tired. Even after sleeping well, even after a quiet morning, my body insisted I lie down, and I ended up napping for four hours. Four hours. I’ve never been a napper. I’ve never needed it. And yet here I am giving in because my body won’t let me ignore the weight pressing… Continue reading
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I Got the Job and I’m Somehow Excited, Terrified, and a Little Bit of a Mess!!!!!
Okay, so… I actually got the job!!!!!! I’m officially going to be an adjunct English as a Second Language instructor at a local community college. I still don’t think it’s fully sunk in. I’m excited, like genuinely excited but also terrified. I keep thinking about my mom. English wasn’t her first language,it might not even… Continue reading
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Dreams, Guidance, and Finding My Path
Lately, my mom has been showing up in my dreams. She’s been gone for four years but in these dreams she feels so present like she’s walking beside me again, guiding me and quietly cheering me on. I keep finding myself back in her home in Germany. I’m helping people who don’t speak English. Some… Continue reading
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Listening To My Whole Self
Yesterday I had a massage that was… honestly, painful in the most delicious way. I had a different therapist this time. It was a petite woman who went deep. She found places in my back I didn’t even know existed and we breathed together as she worked, releasing tension, releasing energy I didn’t even realize… Continue reading
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Sore, Humbled, and Grateful: A Day in Service
Today is the end of the day, and I’m still carrying everything I saw. I went in expecting a few hours of volunteering, thinking I’d help in small ways and leave feeling like I had done something good. But the day unfolded differently. My shift lasted far longer than planned because people kept coming. Families,… Continue reading
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Becoming the Person Who Can Hold It All
It sounds like I’ll probably be teaching an ESL course starting in January. When I say that out loud, it feels both exciting and humbling, like a door quietly opening into the next chapter of my life. I’m nervous, of course. Not because I doubt my ability, but because I know how much balance this… Continue reading
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Life, Lately
I keep thinking about how I thought life would be. When I was a kid, I imagined this perfect sparkling version of adulthood. I would be a world famous musician, performing in beautiful concert halls wearing gowns that shimmered under the lights. I’d have this brilliantly talented musician husband and together we’d travel the world… Continue reading
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In with the good, out with the bad
Last night, I had a massage with James. His hands are healing. Wow. I feel so much calmer this morning. Centered. Grounded. Ready for a day of just being home, reflecting, and breathing. A female colleague asked me recently, “What truly sets your soul on fire?” That question hasn’t left me alone. It made me… Continue reading
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Hibernate
alone, anxiety, Authenticity, autumn, body, cozy, dark, death, deep-thoughts, emotions, exhausted, existentialism, fear, feeler, feelings, FemininePower, funeral, grief, guilt, healing, health, hibernation, hurt, hurting, inner-work, lazy, life, lonely, loss, mental health, my life, night, pain, rain, recovery, relationships, relaxation, rest, self care, Self portrait, Self Reflection, sleep, Slow Down, still life, suffering, tension, tired, tiresome, wellness, worn, worried, Zen -
Dear Infj,
You give. You give everything. Your heart, your time, your energy, your attention – and yet, so often, it feels like the world doesn’t see you. You pour yourself into others, believing in connection, in goodness, in the possibility of shared understanding. But instead, you find yourself misunderstood, overlooked, and sometimes even used. Lauren Sapala… Continue reading
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Letting Go: The Hardest Donation I’ve Ever Made
Today I took an enormous carload (literally packed from floor to ceiling ) of clothes to charity. I know it probably sounds simple, but it was honestly one of the hardest things I’ve done in a really long time. Handing over those bags felt like letting go of pieces of myself. And now, I’ll be… Continue reading
anxiety, Authenticity, autumn, blog, body image, charity, clothes, consciousness, creative-writing, deep-thoughts, donation, emotions, empty, enneagram4w5, experiences, fall, FemininePower, grief, healing, heartache, infj, inner-work, Intuition, life, lonely, longing, loss, moments, mother, pain, Self Reflection, self-discovery, spiritual, suffering, wardrobe, women’s health -
The Great Closet Purge
I decided to completely annihilate my wardrobe. Like, everything came out. Every hanger. Every bin. Every drawer. My living room is basically a fabric apocalypse right now. We’re talking over twenty years of clothes. Some of it belonged to my mom but most of it’s mine and they represent my moods, my body changes, and… Continue reading
Authenticity, body image, clothes, connection, creative-writing, death, enneagram4w5, experiences, femininity, grief, Growth, healing, heartache, infj, inner-work, Intuition, life, love, MBTI, mental health, Mindfulness, moments, mother, my life, pain, positive thoughts, purpose, reflection, relationships, self care, Self Reflection, self-discovery, starting over, suffering, women’s health, Zen
The Dreamer's Pen 