enneagram4w5
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I Asked AI to Analyze My “Type” and It Low Key Read Me Perfectly
So this started as a curiosity experiment and turned into a full on mirror. I uploaded a bunch of photos of male celebrities I find attractive. Actors, comedians, writers, and musicians. You know, the usual suspects. I asked AI a simple question: Do I have a type? I expected something vague like “you like smart… Continue reading
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Why Color Speaks to Me
I don’t know why color and sunlight speak to me the way they do. I’ve tried to put it into words a million times, and I never get it right, because it’s not really something you can explain. It’s something you feel. It’s in your chest, your spine, and the way your skin tingles when… Continue reading
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I Carry Her With Me
I keep thinking about my mom and how hard she worked, how little she was ever given in return, and how unfair it all seems. She made minimum wage her entire life and worked her ass to the bone. She never had opportunities and she never had the chance to retire. My started over when… Continue reading
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Enneagram 4
This is one of the greatest video on my enneagram type- Enneagram 4! The video specific for character development in writing, but it is eye opening! After watching this video, I identify as a Social Four. I find this to be quite amazing because aunt Shirley is one of my favorite literary characters. I love… Continue reading
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The Life That Fits Me
I am so tired. Even after sleeping well, even after a quiet morning, my body insisted I lie down, and I ended up napping for four hours. Four hours. I’ve never been a napper. I’ve never needed it. And yet here I am giving in because my body won’t let me ignore the weight pressing… Continue reading
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I Got the Job and I’m Somehow Excited, Terrified, and a Little Bit of a Mess!!!!!
Okay, so… I actually got the job!!!!!! I’m officially going to be an adjunct English as a Second Language instructor at a local community college. I still don’t think it’s fully sunk in. I’m excited, like genuinely excited but also terrified. I keep thinking about my mom. English wasn’t her first language,it might not even… Continue reading
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Dreams, Guidance, and Finding My Path
Lately, my mom has been showing up in my dreams. She’s been gone for four years but in these dreams she feels so present like she’s walking beside me again, guiding me and quietly cheering me on. I keep finding myself back in her home in Germany. I’m helping people who don’t speak English. Some… Continue reading
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Listening To My Whole Self
Yesterday I had a massage that was… honestly, painful in the most delicious way. I had a different therapist this time. It was a petite woman who went deep. She found places in my back I didn’t even know existed and we breathed together as she worked, releasing tension, releasing energy I didn’t even realize… Continue reading
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The Shape of Me
I wrote a song about being the Enneagram 4 and what it’s like to feel deeply, notice everything, and exist fully in all the messiness and beauty of life. Visit my Suno page to hear my other music: Continue reading
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Becoming the Person Who Can Hold It All
It sounds like I’ll probably be teaching an ESL course starting in January. When I say that out loud, it feels both exciting and humbling, like a door quietly opening into the next chapter of my life. I’m nervous, of course. Not because I doubt my ability, but because I know how much balance this… Continue reading
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In with the good, out with the bad
Last night, I had a massage with James. His hands are healing. Wow. I feel so much calmer this morning. Centered. Grounded. Ready for a day of just being home, reflecting, and breathing. A female colleague asked me recently, “What truly sets your soul on fire?” That question hasn’t left me alone. It made me… Continue reading
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Carrying Ghosts
I don’t really understand what’s happening, but it feels like my symptoms are coming back. My neck and shoulders are so tense it feels like I’m carrying the weight of everything I’ve ever survived. It’s the same tension I had before I was medicated, the kind that never really leaves. I am also so incredibly… Continue reading
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Letting Go: The Hardest Donation I’ve Ever Made
Today I took an enormous carload (literally packed from floor to ceiling ) of clothes to charity. I know it probably sounds simple, but it was honestly one of the hardest things I’ve done in a really long time. Handing over those bags felt like letting go of pieces of myself. And now, I’ll be… Continue reading
anxiety, Authenticity, autumn, blog, body image, charity, clothes, consciousness, creative-writing, deep-thoughts, donation, emotions, empty, enneagram4w5, experiences, fall, FemininePower, grief, healing, heartache, infj, inner-work, Intuition, life, lonely, longing, loss, moments, mother, pain, Self Reflection, self-discovery, spiritual, suffering, wardrobe, women’s health -
The Great Closet Purge
I decided to completely annihilate my wardrobe. Like, everything came out. Every hanger. Every bin. Every drawer. My living room is basically a fabric apocalypse right now. We’re talking over twenty years of clothes. Some of it belonged to my mom but most of it’s mine and they represent my moods, my body changes, and… Continue reading
Authenticity, body image, clothes, connection, creative-writing, death, enneagram4w5, experiences, femininity, grief, Growth, healing, heartache, infj, inner-work, Intuition, life, love, MBTI, mental health, Mindfulness, moments, mother, my life, pain, positive thoughts, purpose, reflection, relationships, self care, Self Reflection, self-discovery, starting over, suffering, women’s health, Zen -
Autumn’s Goddess — A Candlelit Night
I’ve finally finished editing my latest video, stepping into the night as autumn’s goddess. Candles flickered all around me, a single pumpkin glowing softly, and I moved slowly, letting the shadows and light trace my steps. Everything felt suspended – the leaves, the air, the hush of the season. Over the video, I read my… Continue reading
art, artist, artistic, Authenticity, autumn, body image, celestial, creative-art, creative-writing, creativity, dance, dark, dream big, emotions, enneagram4w5, existentialism, fall, feeler, FemininePower, femininity, fertility, fun, goddess, grateful, healing, Inspiration, Intuition, literature, love, love letter, Mindfulness, moon, MUSIC, my life, nature, night, passion, philosophy, pixie hair, reflection, refreshing, romance, romantic, seasons, self expression, Self portrait, Self Reflection, sensuality, September, short hair, soulful, spiritual, stars, strength, thankful, whimsy, witches, writing, YouTube -
Saturday Evening with a Brush
Tonight’s paint and sip felt grounding. As I worked on the canvas, the colors came together in a way that surprised me. So vibrant, alive, and familiar. It reminds me of a rainy autumn night, the kind that makes you feel both reflective and present at the same time. There’s something about putting brush to… Continue reading
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The Photo That Started It All
Back in 2007, I finally treated myself to a digital camera. I’d been saving up for it forever, and when I got that little Fujifilm FinePix A600 digital camera in my hands, it felt like holding a tiny key to a secret world. I still have it, and yes… I still use it. That camera… Continue reading
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A Cozy Friday Night In
It’s a cozy Friday night, and I’m curled up in my jammies with a pumpkin spice latte I made at home on my new espresso maker (Thanks Dad!) Making my own lattes feels like such a win! Saving money, tasting amazing, and filling my space with that warm, cozy pumpkin spice aroma. I’ve got a… Continue reading
The Dreamer's Pen 