grief
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What Am I Doing?
I finally took the time to slow down. In the stillness, I feel the edges of myself I’d forgotten and the pieces I’ve lost along the way. I feel the absence of my mom more sharply than I thought I could and the weight of the holidays presses in. I sit with it all—the longing, Continue reading
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The Life That Fits Me
I am so tired. Even after sleeping well, even after a quiet morning, my body insisted I lie down, and I ended up napping for four hours. Four hours. I’ve never been a napper. I’ve never needed it. And yet here I am giving in because my body won’t let me ignore the weight pressing Continue reading
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I Can’t Sit Around
So many people are losing their food benefits starting November 1, and I can’t sit by and watch that happen. I know what it’s like to be food insecure. I remember my mom taking food that would’ve been thrown away from her work, hiding it in her purse or her coat just to bring it Continue reading
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Power Out
My body has been hurting so bad. My back and neck are completely locked up and the pain has been nonstop for days. And I’ve had a horrible migraine since the end of last week. Sitting, standing, lying down – nothing feels right. I try to ignore it, I try to push through, but it’s Continue reading
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Hibernate
alone, anxiety, Authenticity, autumn, body, cozy, dark, death, deep-thoughts, emotions, exhausted, existentialism, fear, feeler, feelings, FemininePower, funeral, grief, guilt, healing, health, hibernation, hurt, hurting, inner-work, lazy, life, lonely, loss, mental health, my life, night, pain, rain, recovery, relationships, relaxation, rest, self care, Self portrait, Self Reflection, sleep, Slow Down, still life, suffering, tension, tired, tiresome, wellness, worn, worried, Zen -
Numb
I am drained. Everything swirls. It’s chaotic and relentless. Political upheaval rattles the news. My car, side swiped on the way home today. (But I am okay) Exhaustion settles deep. Grief. Trauma. I need rest. I will hibernate this weekend. Hide from the noise, from the storm, from everything. Continue reading
car, exhausted, experiences, grief, hibernation, hurt, hurting, life, moments, numb, pain, Self Reflection, trauma, veg out -
Letting Go: The Hardest Donation I’ve Ever Made
Today I took an enormous carload (literally packed from floor to ceiling ) of clothes to charity. I know it probably sounds simple, but it was honestly one of the hardest things I’ve done in a really long time. Handing over those bags felt like letting go of pieces of myself. And now, I’ll be Continue reading
anxiety, Authenticity, autumn, blog, body image, charity, clothes, consciousness, creative-writing, deep-thoughts, donation, emotions, empty, enneagram4w5, experiences, fall, FemininePower, grief, healing, heartache, infj, inner-work, Intuition, life, lonely, longing, loss, moments, mother, pain, Self Reflection, self-discovery, spiritual, suffering, wardrobe, women’s health -
The Great Closet Purge
I decided to completely annihilate my wardrobe. Like, everything came out. Every hanger. Every bin. Every drawer. My living room is basically a fabric apocalypse right now. We’re talking over twenty years of clothes. Some of it belonged to my mom but most of it’s mine and they represent my moods, my body changes, and Continue reading
Authenticity, body image, clothes, connection, creative-writing, death, enneagram4w5, experiences, femininity, grief, Growth, healing, heartache, infj, inner-work, Intuition, life, love, MBTI, mental health, Mindfulness, moments, mother, my life, pain, positive thoughts, purpose, reflection, relationships, self care, Self Reflection, self-discovery, starting over, suffering, women’s health, Zen -
Four Years Later: Remembering My Mom
Today marks four years since my mom passed away. Four years and yet it feels like it happened yesterday. Her death was sudden, shocking, and completely flipped the world my dad and I knew. She had been having health issues during Covid, and because of the pandemic, she couldn’t get the care she desperately needed. Continue reading
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Unpicked
Leaves fall, winds may pass, I root deep despite the frost, Unpicked, yet I stand. Continue reading
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Happy First Day of Fall
(Disclaimer: I meant to post this yesterday but I crashed and slept for 15 hours. So here I am, posting the following day instead. I feel so much better after the long sleep.) I left work early because I just couldn’t push through anymore. I haven’t slept well in two days and my body finally Continue reading
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Words, Connection, and My Mom’s Legacy
I made my first vlog — something completely new for me. I actually love speaking in public, so that’s not an issue at all. It’s just that, like many INFJs, I often feel that my words come across more clearly and beautifully on paper than they do out loud. Still, I wanted to challenge myself to Continue reading
alone, anxiety, autumn, bombing, community, connection, death, deep-thoughts, experiences, FemininePower, funeral, Germans, germany, grief, Growth, healing, heartache, infj, inner-work, life, lonely, longing, love, medicine, mental health, moments, mother, my life, narcissists, pain, poverty, psychology, reflection, relationships, self care, Self Reflection, September, soulful, spiritual, strength, Vlogs, women’s health, world War ii, worried -
Evening Reflections – September 10, 2025
What are you doing this evening? This evening I am sitting quietly in my recliner with Chewy by my side. I feel absolutely drained. Today has been one of the most stressful and heartbreaking days I can remember in a long time. Work itself was already heavy, but what overshadowed everything was the conversations in Continue reading
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The Breakfast Pizza That Reminds Me of Mom
This morning, I found myself craving something very specific: old school cafeteria breakfast pizza. It’s simple really. A soft crust, a layer of sauce, sausage crumbles, and melted cheese. Nothing fancy and nothing complicated. But for me, it carries the weight of memory, of childhood mornings, of my mom. She worked in the school cafeteria Continue reading
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🌿 I Made a Video About Letting Go
I recently filmed a video about something that’s been unfolding quietly in my life: The slow, personal process of letting go. Letting go of isolation. Letting go of second guessing myself. Letting go of the things I carried for so long, I forgot I could set them down. This isn’t a “how to.” It’s a Continue reading
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No Vacations, No Retirement —Just Grit and Grace
I grew up in what my mother called “working poor.” It wasn’t a label we wore publicly. It was just… life. At first, I thought we were like everyone else. I thought soup kitchens were just another kind of restaurant. I thought thrift stores were where everyone got their clothes. I thought rich meant your Continue reading
anxiety, Authenticity, blue collar, class, creative-writing, death, deep-thoughts, enneagram4w5, funeral, grief, Growth, health, heartache, inner-work, Inspiration, life, lonely, loss, love, mental health, mother, politics, relationships, Self portrait, Self Reflection, socioeconomics, suffering, tired, working class, writing -
Reclaiming My Health: A Journey Through Grief, Healing, and Transformation
Four years ago, I was strong. I was disciplined. I was healthy. And then, my world fractured. When my mom passed away, something inside me unraveled. Grief wasn’t just an emotion, it became a presence that lived inside of me, shifting my habits, numbing my ambitions, and slowly eroding the foundation of my well being. Continue reading
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The Weight of Healing: Reflections on Surgery and Pain
Day two, and the pain is relentless. It moves through me in waves: sharp, deep, and unforgiving. I’ve always been a side sleeper, but now my body resists every position, every shift, every attempt at comfort. My bed, once a place of rest, now feels foreign, incapable of holding me through this. So, I’ve surrendered Continue reading
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Between the Knife and the Unknown
I lie beneath the weight of waiting,the hush before the plunge,where time bends,where breath is borrowed,where the body is a question with no answer. The scalpel sings in silent promise,a whispered hymn of hope and risk.Will I wake to the sun’s golden mercy,or slip into the quiet where names are forgotten? I have traced the Continue reading
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Becoming Me: Embracing Adventure, Freedom, and the Vibrancy of Life
For as long as I can remember, I lived cautiously, almost mechanically. My decisions, my actions, my very way of being, everything was shaped by an invisible, yet very real, wall of fear and responsibility. A wall I didn’t know I had built, but one that was firmly in place, holding me back from the Continue reading
The Dreamer's Pen 