medicine
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Power Out
My body has been hurting so bad. My back and neck are completely locked up and the pain has been nonstop for days. And I’ve had a horrible migraine since the end of last week. Sitting, standing, lying down – nothing feels right. I try to ignore it, I try to push through, but it’s Continue reading
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Carrying Ghosts
I don’t really understand what’s happening, but it feels like my symptoms are coming back. My neck and shoulders are so tense it feels like I’m carrying the weight of everything I’ve ever survived. It’s the same tension I had before I was medicated, the kind that never really leaves. I am also so incredibly Continue reading
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Four Years Later: Remembering My Mom
Today marks four years since my mom passed away. Four years and yet it feels like it happened yesterday. Her death was sudden, shocking, and completely flipped the world my dad and I knew. She had been having health issues during Covid, and because of the pandemic, she couldn’t get the care she desperately needed. Continue reading
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Words, Connection, and My Mom’s Legacy
I made my first vlog — something completely new for me. I actually love speaking in public, so that’s not an issue at all. It’s just that, like many INFJs, I often feel that my words come across more clearly and beautifully on paper than they do out loud. Still, I wanted to challenge myself to Continue reading
alone, anxiety, autumn, bombing, community, connection, death, deep-thoughts, experiences, FemininePower, funeral, Germans, germany, grief, Growth, healing, heartache, infj, inner-work, life, lonely, longing, love, medicine, mental health, moments, mother, my life, narcissists, pain, poverty, psychology, reflection, relationships, self care, Self Reflection, September, soulful, spiritual, strength, Vlogs, women’s health, world War ii, worried -
Pathology Update
I had surgery a few days ago, and I’m so relieved to share that everything came back benign – absolutely no cancer! The mass that was removed was a very large mature cystic teratoma. One unexpected finding was that my left fallopian tube was fused shut, meaning it wasn’t open the way it should be. Continue reading
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Between the Knife and the Unknown
I lie beneath the weight of waiting,the hush before the plunge,where time bends,where breath is borrowed,where the body is a question with no answer. The scalpel sings in silent promise,a whispered hymn of hope and risk.Will I wake to the sun’s golden mercy,or slip into the quiet where names are forgotten? I have traced the Continue reading
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The Cyst, the Dream, and the Whisper of Angels
I have always believed in signs. Some people dismiss them as coincidences, but I know better. I’ve felt them too many times, in too many ways, to ignore them. Angels don’t always speak in words. Sometimes, they speak in symbols, in nudges, in quiet whispers only the soul can hear. And for the past two Continue reading
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Facing the Unknown: Navigating Health Concerns and the Anxiety of an Upcoming Procedure
I’ve always been fortunate to enjoy good health, never really having to worry much about my body or dealing with medical issues. But recently, some health concerns have popped up, and now, I find myself facing the need for tests and procedures to get some answers. I can’t lie, this is all pretty nerve-wracking. I’m Continue reading
The Dreamer's Pen 