my life
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Becoming the Person Who Can Hold It All
It sounds like I’ll probably be teaching an ESL course starting in January. When I say that out loud, it feels both exciting and humbling, like a door quietly opening into the next chapter of my life. I’m nervous, of course. Not because I doubt my ability, but because I know how much balance this Continue reading
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Hibernate
alone, anxiety, Authenticity, autumn, body, cozy, dark, death, deep-thoughts, emotions, exhausted, existentialism, fear, feeler, feelings, FemininePower, funeral, grief, guilt, healing, health, hibernation, hurt, hurting, inner-work, lazy, life, lonely, loss, mental health, my life, night, pain, rain, recovery, relationships, relaxation, rest, self care, Self portrait, Self Reflection, sleep, Slow Down, still life, suffering, tension, tired, tiresome, wellness, worn, worried, Zen -
Carrying Ghosts
I don’t really understand what’s happening, but it feels like my symptoms are coming back. My neck and shoulders are so tense it feels like I’m carrying the weight of everything I’ve ever survived. It’s the same tension I had before I was medicated, the kind that never really leaves. I am also so incredibly Continue reading
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The Great Closet Purge
I decided to completely annihilate my wardrobe. Like, everything came out. Every hanger. Every bin. Every drawer. My living room is basically a fabric apocalypse right now. We’re talking over twenty years of clothes. Some of it belonged to my mom but most of it’s mine and they represent my moods, my body changes, and Continue reading
Authenticity, body image, clothes, connection, creative-writing, death, enneagram4w5, experiences, femininity, grief, Growth, healing, heartache, infj, inner-work, Intuition, life, love, MBTI, mental health, Mindfulness, moments, mother, my life, pain, positive thoughts, purpose, reflection, relationships, self care, Self Reflection, self-discovery, starting over, suffering, women’s health, Zen -
Sunday Night at Jazz Alley
Sunday night was such a phenomenal experience. I went to Dimitriou’s Jazz Alley in Seattle to see Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. They were electric. I’ve always been a big jazz fan but seeing them live was something else. The energy was contagious, the music was popping, and I couldn’t help but dance along in my Continue reading
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A Night of Opera and Old Glamour
Last night I attended a historic performance at Tacoma’s Pantages Theater; The first part of Wagner’s Der Ring des Nibelungen – Das Rheingold. It was a night filled with music, history, and emotion. But what made it truly special wasn’t just the performance. It was what I decided to wear. I pulled out my old Continue reading
art, blue collar, connection, DivineFeminine, experiences, femininity, gowns, grateful, gratitude, life, love, moments, mother, my life, old Hollywood, opera, Pacific Northwest, Pantages, passion, pearls, positive thoughts, relationships, self expression, Self Reflection, SensualNotSexual, stage, Tacoma, Tacoma Olympia, thankful, vintage gown, Wagner, Washington, working class -
Four Years Later: Remembering My Mom
Today marks four years since my mom passed away. Four years and yet it feels like it happened yesterday. Her death was sudden, shocking, and completely flipped the world my dad and I knew. She had been having health issues during Covid, and because of the pandemic, she couldn’t get the care she desperately needed. Continue reading
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Autumn’s Goddess — A Candlelit Night
I’ve finally finished editing my latest video, stepping into the night as autumn’s goddess. Candles flickered all around me, a single pumpkin glowing softly, and I moved slowly, letting the shadows and light trace my steps. Everything felt suspended – the leaves, the air, the hush of the season. Over the video, I read my Continue reading
art, artist, artistic, Authenticity, autumn, body image, celestial, creative-art, creative-writing, creativity, dance, dark, dream big, emotions, enneagram4w5, existentialism, fall, feeler, FemininePower, femininity, fertility, fun, goddess, grateful, healing, Inspiration, Intuition, literature, love, love letter, Mindfulness, moon, MUSIC, my life, nature, night, passion, philosophy, pixie hair, reflection, refreshing, romance, romantic, seasons, self expression, Self portrait, Self Reflection, sensuality, September, short hair, soulful, spiritual, stars, strength, thankful, whimsy, witches, writing, YouTube -
Words, Connection, and My Mom’s Legacy
I made my first vlog — something completely new for me. I actually love speaking in public, so that’s not an issue at all. It’s just that, like many INFJs, I often feel that my words come across more clearly and beautifully on paper than they do out loud. Still, I wanted to challenge myself to Continue reading
alone, anxiety, autumn, bombing, community, connection, death, deep-thoughts, experiences, FemininePower, funeral, Germans, germany, grief, Growth, healing, heartache, infj, inner-work, life, lonely, longing, love, medicine, mental health, moments, mother, my life, narcissists, pain, poverty, psychology, reflection, relationships, self care, Self Reflection, September, soulful, spiritual, strength, Vlogs, women’s health, world War ii, worried -
Saturday Evening with a Brush
Tonight’s paint and sip felt grounding. As I worked on the canvas, the colors came together in a way that surprised me. So vibrant, alive, and familiar. It reminds me of a rainy autumn night, the kind that makes you feel both reflective and present at the same time. There’s something about putting brush to Continue reading
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Easter Thoughts from the Back Row at Benaroya
Happy Easter. I’m currently nursing a head cold and still recovering from surgery, so today looks like tissues, tea, and sweatpants. Not exactly the fresh start kind of energy Easter is known for, but it’s real. Yesterday, though, I managed to leave the house for the first time in four weeks. I went to a Continue reading
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Between the Knife and the Unknown
I lie beneath the weight of waiting,the hush before the plunge,where time bends,where breath is borrowed,where the body is a question with no answer. The scalpel sings in silent promise,a whispered hymn of hope and risk.Will I wake to the sun’s golden mercy,or slip into the quiet where names are forgotten? I have traced the Continue reading
The Dreamer's Pen 