reflection
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When Your Body Says “Enough”
I’ve always been the one preaching self-care. Drink water. Get sleep. Set boundaries. Put the phone down. Don’t let stress run your life. I say these things easily. Confidently. Convincingly. But lately? I haven’t been living them. A few days ago, I fainted in the shower and ended up in the emergency room. Three days… Continue reading
anxiety, Authenticity, deep-thoughts, emotions, experiences, fall, feelings, Growth, health, hospital, infj, internal world, Intuition, medicine, mental health, mother, pain, philosophy, positive thoughts, purpose, reflection, relationships, self care, Self Reflection, self-discovery, suffering, Women, women’s health, Zen -
Why Color Speaks to Me
I don’t know why color and sunlight speak to me the way they do. I’ve tried to put it into words a million times, and I never get it right, because it’s not really something you can explain. It’s something you feel. It’s in your chest, your spine, and the way your skin tingles when… Continue reading
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I Carry Her With Me
I keep thinking about my mom and how hard she worked, how little she was ever given in return, and how unfair it all seems. She made minimum wage her entire life and worked her ass to the bone. She never had opportunities and she never had the chance to retire. My started over when… Continue reading
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Completely Moved
I am completely and utterly moved by this class. I don’t even know where to begin, except to say that being in that space with the students, with the faculty, with everyone in the ESL department, has touched me in a way I wasn’t expecting. There is a generosity here, a kindness that is so… Continue reading
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A Slow, Honest Thanksgiving
This Thanksgiving is a little quieter for me and a little slower. Nothing fancy. It’s just real life. You’ll see clips of my day, cooking, puttering around the house, and talking about the things I’m thankful for this year. It’s my fourth Thanksgiving without my mom, so the day feels different but I invited my… Continue reading
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The Life That Fits Me
I am so tired. Even after sleeping well, even after a quiet morning, my body insisted I lie down, and I ended up napping for four hours. Four hours. I’ve never been a napper. I’ve never needed it. And yet here I am giving in because my body won’t let me ignore the weight pressing… Continue reading
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Dreams, Guidance, and Finding My Path
Lately, my mom has been showing up in my dreams. She’s been gone for four years but in these dreams she feels so present like she’s walking beside me again, guiding me and quietly cheering me on. I keep finding myself back in her home in Germany. I’m helping people who don’t speak English. Some… Continue reading
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Listening To My Whole Self
Yesterday I had a massage that was… honestly, painful in the most delicious way. I had a different therapist this time. It was a petite woman who went deep. She found places in my back I didn’t even know existed and we breathed together as she worked, releasing tension, releasing energy I didn’t even realize… Continue reading
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Sore, Humbled, and Grateful: A Day in Service
Today is the end of the day, and I’m still carrying everything I saw. I went in expecting a few hours of volunteering, thinking I’d help in small ways and leave feeling like I had done something good. But the day unfolded differently. My shift lasted far longer than planned because people kept coming. Families,… Continue reading
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Life, Lately
I keep thinking about how I thought life would be. When I was a kid, I imagined this perfect sparkling version of adulthood. I would be a world famous musician, performing in beautiful concert halls wearing gowns that shimmered under the lights. I’d have this brilliantly talented musician husband and together we’d travel the world… Continue reading
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Power Out
My body has been hurting so bad. My back and neck are completely locked up and the pain has been nonstop for days. And I’ve had a horrible migraine since the end of last week. Sitting, standing, lying down – nothing feels right. I try to ignore it, I try to push through, but it’s… Continue reading
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The Comfort of Hard Times
It’s Saturday morning. I made breakfast and ate it in bed. Blanket wrapped around me, coffee in hand, quiet all around. I don’t even feel guilty. I need this. I’m about to draw another bath. The water will be hot enough to sink into my bones to loosen the aches that won’t go away. Outside… Continue reading
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Carrying Ghosts
I don’t really understand what’s happening, but it feels like my symptoms are coming back. My neck and shoulders are so tense it feels like I’m carrying the weight of everything I’ve ever survived. It’s the same tension I had before I was medicated, the kind that never really leaves. I am also so incredibly… Continue reading
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The Great Closet Purge
I decided to completely annihilate my wardrobe. Like, everything came out. Every hanger. Every bin. Every drawer. My living room is basically a fabric apocalypse right now. We’re talking over twenty years of clothes. Some of it belonged to my mom but most of it’s mine and they represent my moods, my body changes, and… Continue reading
Authenticity, body image, clothes, connection, creative-writing, death, enneagram4w5, experiences, femininity, grief, Growth, healing, heartache, infj, inner-work, Intuition, life, love, MBTI, mental health, Mindfulness, moments, mother, my life, pain, positive thoughts, purpose, reflection, relationships, self care, Self Reflection, self-discovery, starting over, suffering, women’s health, Zen -
A Stormy Fall Day and the Façade That’s Cracking
Today turned out to be a really stormy day. It feels like fall now, especially after a warm, sunny weekend. The wind was blowing , the rain was pouring, and the leaves were falling all over the ground. Honestly, it’s kind of beautiful if you actually stop and look. Normally, I’m not a huge fan… Continue reading
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Unpicked
Leaves fall, winds may pass, I root deep despite the frost, Unpicked, yet I stand. Continue reading
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Happy First Day of Fall
(Disclaimer: I meant to post this yesterday but I crashed and slept for 15 hours. So here I am, posting the following day instead. I feel so much better after the long sleep.) I left work early because I just couldn’t push through anymore. I haven’t slept well in two days and my body finally… Continue reading
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Autumn’s Goddess — A Candlelit Night
I’ve finally finished editing my latest video, stepping into the night as autumn’s goddess. Candles flickered all around me, a single pumpkin glowing softly, and I moved slowly, letting the shadows and light trace my steps. Everything felt suspended – the leaves, the air, the hush of the season. Over the video, I read my… Continue reading
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