suffering
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Hibernate
alone, anxiety, Authenticity, autumn, body, cozy, dark, death, deep-thoughts, emotions, exhausted, existentialism, fear, feeler, feelings, FemininePower, funeral, grief, guilt, healing, health, hibernation, hurt, hurting, inner-work, lazy, life, lonely, loss, mental health, my life, night, pain, rain, recovery, relationships, relaxation, rest, self care, Self portrait, Self Reflection, sleep, Slow Down, still life, suffering, tension, tired, tiresome, wellness, worn, worried, Zen -
Carrying Ghosts
I don’t really understand what’s happening, but it feels like my symptoms are coming back. My neck and shoulders are so tense it feels like I’m carrying the weight of everything I’ve ever survived. It’s the same tension I had before I was medicated, the kind that never really leaves. I am also so incredibly Continue reading
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Letting Go: The Hardest Donation I’ve Ever Made
Today I took an enormous carload (literally packed from floor to ceiling ) of clothes to charity. I know it probably sounds simple, but it was honestly one of the hardest things I’ve done in a really long time. Handing over those bags felt like letting go of pieces of myself. And now, I’ll be Continue reading
anxiety, Authenticity, autumn, blog, body image, charity, clothes, consciousness, creative-writing, deep-thoughts, donation, emotions, empty, enneagram4w5, experiences, fall, FemininePower, grief, healing, heartache, infj, inner-work, Intuition, life, lonely, longing, loss, moments, mother, pain, Self Reflection, self-discovery, spiritual, suffering, wardrobe, women’s health -
The Great Closet Purge
I decided to completely annihilate my wardrobe. Like, everything came out. Every hanger. Every bin. Every drawer. My living room is basically a fabric apocalypse right now. We’re talking over twenty years of clothes. Some of it belonged to my mom but most of it’s mine and they represent my moods, my body changes, and Continue reading
Authenticity, body image, clothes, connection, creative-writing, death, enneagram4w5, experiences, femininity, grief, Growth, healing, heartache, infj, inner-work, Intuition, life, love, MBTI, mental health, Mindfulness, moments, mother, my life, pain, positive thoughts, purpose, reflection, relationships, self care, Self Reflection, self-discovery, starting over, suffering, women’s health, Zen -
A Cozy Friday Night In
It’s a cozy Friday night, and I’m curled up in my jammies with a pumpkin spice latte I made at home on my new espresso maker (Thanks Dad!) Making my own lattes feels like such a win! Saving money, tasting amazing, and filling my space with that warm, cozy pumpkin spice aroma. I’ve got a Continue reading
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Bracing For Fall
When I was little, every season in Washington carried its own kind of magic. Summer was blackberry stained fingers and stubborn sunsets that lingered long after bedtime. Spring was cherry blossoms scattered across wet sidewalks, tulips rising out of soggy earth. Winter was snow on the Cascades, holiday lights against dark evergreens, breath curling white Continue reading
art, artistic, Authenticity, autumn, community, consciousness, creative-writing, death, deep-thoughts, experiences, fall, feeler, feelings, Growth, heartache, infj, inner-work, Inspiration, life, longing, Mindfulness, moments, mother, nature, pain, positive thoughts, recovery, reflection, seasons, Self Reflection, suffering, tired, whimsy, writing -
🌿 I Made a Video About Letting Go
I recently filmed a video about something that’s been unfolding quietly in my life: The slow, personal process of letting go. Letting go of isolation. Letting go of second guessing myself. Letting go of the things I carried for so long, I forgot I could set them down. This isn’t a “how to.” It’s a Continue reading
anxiety, Authenticity, calm, community, connection, consciousness, deep-thoughts, experiences, feeler, feelings, femininity, grief, Growth, health, heartache, infj, Intuition, Learning, lonely, love, mental health, Mindfulness, moments, pain, positive thoughts, ptsd, purpose, reflection, relationships, self care, Self Reflection, self-discovery, suffering, tired, Zen -
No Vacations, No Retirement —Just Grit and Grace
I grew up in what my mother called “working poor.” It wasn’t a label we wore publicly. It was just… life. At first, I thought we were like everyone else. I thought soup kitchens were just another kind of restaurant. I thought thrift stores were where everyone got their clothes. I thought rich meant your Continue reading
anxiety, Authenticity, blue collar, class, creative-writing, death, deep-thoughts, enneagram4w5, funeral, grief, Growth, health, heartache, inner-work, Inspiration, life, lonely, loss, love, mental health, mother, politics, relationships, Self portrait, Self Reflection, socioeconomics, suffering, tired, working class, writing -
Just Another Day in Washington State
Driving to work this morning in a full-blown rainstorm, visibility low, stress high—and then my nose decided to betray me. Out of nowhere, a nosebleed. Not a gentle drip. A massacre. I couldn’t pull over. Just me, the freeway, and blood pouring down my face like I was in a horror movie. I reached into Continue reading
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The Weight of Healing: Reflections on Surgery and Pain
Day two, and the pain is relentless. It moves through me in waves: sharp, deep, and unforgiving. I’ve always been a side sleeper, but now my body resists every position, every shift, every attempt at comfort. My bed, once a place of rest, now feels foreign, incapable of holding me through this. So, I’ve surrendered Continue reading
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Between the Knife and the Unknown
I lie beneath the weight of waiting,the hush before the plunge,where time bends,where breath is borrowed,where the body is a question with no answer. The scalpel sings in silent promise,a whispered hymn of hope and risk.Will I wake to the sun’s golden mercy,or slip into the quiet where names are forgotten? I have traced the Continue reading
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When Pain Becomes Normal
I keep thinking about how long this has been growing inside me. How many times I brushed off the pain, the bloating, the pressure, because I thought it was just part of being a woman. The horrible period cramps that felt like a hot brick pressing down on my uterus. The hip pain that radiated Continue reading
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The Inheritance of Ash and Earth
I was born from ruin, from hunger,a child of sorrow stitched from the remnants of history,woven together with the thread of survival.From the bones of a world broken and reformed,I rose, carrying the weight of two broken pastsand the hope of something that could heal the cracks between them.A body made from ghosts,an echo of Continue reading
American, Authenticity, bombing, creative-writing, creativity, death, deep south, deep-thoughts, Germans, germany, Growth, heartache, inner-work, Inspiration, loss, love, Mindfulness, moments, mother, pain, Poetry, politics, poverty, reflection, Self portrait, Self Reflection, self-discovery, sketching, spiritual, starving, suffering, usa, war, world War ii
The Dreamer's Pen 